The 9 Mistakes That (Almost) All Christian Singles Make – And What to Do About It

single and searching

The Big Lie.

People say it different ways.

It usually starts out: “As long as you honor God with your substance… ”
And then they finish it with…

“… God will reward you with a wonderful spouse.”
“… you can claim your marriage partner.”
“… and have a marriage made in heaven.”

And so on.

Well, part of it is true.

Some people appear to have things easy. They don’t face the same struggles regular people do.

But for the vast majority of single men and women I have come across, the story is different. It’s been a continuous battle and they are fed up with the single life and the dating game.

Years ago Dr. Neil Clarke Warren, founder of, made the observation that millions of singles would love to get married – but only if they could live happily and forever with their partners.

And the truth is:

The whole frustrating, exhilarating, maddening, crazy game of dating has left many confused, baffled and hopeless.

This is hard to swallow for most Christian singles.

Especially when they’ve always been told that as long as you live a decent Christian life and look presentable that you are all set.

It should break your heart to see that many have been living decently for years … but they are suddenly waking up to discover that while they are rapidly approaching the proverbial age of 40, the hope of a happy marriage seems to be receding … like a mirage as the years go by.

Why is this so?

There are 9 deadly mistakes that almost all singles are making … in a desperate attempt to meet and settle down with their godly spouse.

*** Mistake #1
Having idols in the heart

This is one of the biggies. Please pay close attention here. In the Bible, anything that takes the place of God in your heart is an idol. God wants to have first place in your life. Especially when it comes to the issue of a godly spouse. HE has already kept His best for you. And you have to go to Him in prayer to find out.

And herein lies the danger …

If you go to God with your mind already made up about someone you want and then you just ask Him to “rubberstamp” your preference for you … by asking Him to show you if that person is your godly spouse, you will most likely hear the voice of your own emotions echoed back to you … and NOT really God’s voice.

In this case, God can even say YES if He sees that in your heart of hearts you’ve already made up your mind!

The Bible actually says that if you come to God with an “idol” in your heart He will answer you according to what you have in your heart.

*** Mistake #2
Ignoring your vehicle of destiny

Your vehicle of destiny is a certain skill, talent, attribute or gift that God has given you … by means of which He will deliver His best for your life, including your godly spouse.

For some it is hospitality. For others it is the milk of human kindness. For others it is the ability to be persistent in the face of all odds.

Yours could be spiritual or physical.

Maybe the ability to sing. Or help others in one way or the other. It is supposed to be your most dominant attribute. But if you don’t recognize it … and make full use of it, most of your blessings will be passing you by.

We see a good example of this in the Bible when we read the fascinating story of a young woman called Rebekah and how she got connected with her godly spouse.

*** Mistake #3
Continuing to engage in any form of sex outside marriage

The Bible says clearly that our body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. We are warned against all form of sexual activity outside marriage.

When you violate this crucial spiritual principle, you literally give the devil license to put you in a spiritual cage.

No one can find you.

Or propose marriage.

You could still be walking around – as beautiful as ever – but in the spiritual realm the devil has already written something like “Not Available” right across your forehead.

*** Mistake #4
Being ignorant of the mystery of spiritual marriage

There is something called spiritual marriage. So many singles who are unable to get married in the physical are already married to certain spirits as far as the spiritual world is concerned.
You will have a clue if you regularly have sex in the dream, or wake up feeling sexually aroused.

*** Mistake #5
Getting into ungodly associations

Ungodly associations such as consulting with astrologers, mediums, witches, occult people can lead you into forming soul ties with such people. What’s worse, they can plant a spiritual device in an individual to monitor her anywhere she goes. And when anything good is about to happen to that person an alarm is activated in the spirit realm and invisible powers are quickly assigned to abort it.

In the specific case of marriage and relationships, if and when the person happens to meet their godly spouse, an announcement goes out in the spirit realm to make sure the relationship is disrupted.
At any cost!

*** Mistake #6
Ignoring unbroken covenants

A covenant is an agreement binding on two or more parties. Some could be generational. Others could be as a result of one’s present activities.

There is a particularly important hidden covenant that doesn’t get mentioned all that often. You need to be aware of it when dealing with the subject of your godly spouse.

It is called the covenant with the first sexual partner.
A hidden but very powerful covenant is formed with the first person you had sex with. In fact it is a covenant of blood – very stubborn to break. And it can hinder many from getting married.

*** Mistake #7
Dismissing the subject of unholy dressing

When Christians insist on dressing like the people of the world, they end up attracting the unwanted attention of spirit beings … who are enamoured by their sexy dressing… and insist on following them around in the spirit, fighting over them just like humans would.

Many singles praying for a spouse may end up driving away their God-ordained spouse unintentionally because these invisible powers following them around want them all to themselves … without any competition!

*** Mistake #8
Ignoring the activities of evil manipulators

There are matchmakers in the spiritual world. Most of them evil. Their job is to provide counterfeit spouses. And manipulate people out of the will of God.
Now, the Bible clearly warns against being unequally yoked together with unbelievers – in 2 Corinthians 6 verse 14.

*** Mistake #9
Leaving unbroken curses in place

Many singles today come from cursed families or communities … where people never stay married, separation and divorce is the order of the day, etc. Even in some families, all the women never get married. Or marry late. Or have broken marriages.

Such people need to spiritually separate themselves from such backgrounds.
And then begin to pray in earnest.

*** Prayer for a Spouse

There is a 9-step prayer blueprint for christian singles who are interested in prayers to find love.

Here’s a summary of the steps involved:

Step 1: You need to deeply repent of these mistakes and ask the Lord for forgiveness.
Step 2: Appropriate the atoning sacrifice of the blood of Jesus.
Step 3: Identify and deal with satanic entry points.
Step 4: Break and renounce all ungodly relationships and associations.
Step 5: Violently issue a bill of divorce in the spirit realm.
Step 6: Bind and cast out evil plantations from your body.
Step 7: Command evil spiritual deposit to be flushed out of your life.
Step 8: Execute judgment on stubborn powers that refuse to let you go.
Step 9: Learn the 17 targeted prayers for Christian singles dating.

Day Prayer Focus

  1. Repent before the LORD and receive His forgiveness
  2. Break anti-marriage yokes, curses and covenants
  3. Break evil dedication and soul-ties
  4. Eject satanic plantations and evacuate evil deposits
  5. Send confusion to the camp of the enemy (of your marriage)
  6. Withdraw your virtues from evil altars (blood, clothes, finances)
  7. Break evil spiritual marriages (no more sex in the dream)
  8. Destroy evil family patterns i.e. divorce, separation, abusive relationships, etc.
  9. Dismantle invisible walls separating you and your godly spouse
  10. Know the secrets (spiritual secrets about your upcoming marriage)
  11. Loose the grip of anger (so you don’t foolishly drive away your godly spouse in a fit of anger)
  12. Receive the baptism of fire … for total spiritual reconditioning
  13. Receive the baptism of fresh fire … for spiritual exploits
  14. Pray to discover God’s will for you in marriage (so you can summarily dismiss all fakes and counterfeits)
  15. Uncage your partner … so he/she can locate you FAST
  16. Pray on target while engaged to be married … so the enemy does not throw a wrench in your plans
  17. Pray against anti-marriage infirmity (STDs, blood diseases, tumors, etc)
  18. Carry out environmental spiritual sanitation (I’ll show you how to spray Holy Ghost insecticide through prayers)
  19. Pray against satanic reinforcement (Note: the enemy of your marriage will not be happy that you’ve discovered these prayers … and will try to stage a comeback!)
  20. Pray against sudden counterattack
  21. Prayer of thanksgiving (a practical demonstration of your faith that the LORD has answered you)

Whether you are a Christian currently dating or not, or whether you join a Christian singles dating site, there are prayers for singles that you should be praying to find the love of your life. As you deal with the mistakes explained here, the Lord will move you from single to married faster than you could ever imagine.

Elisha Goodman is a prayer coach and author of the popular “Prayer Cookbook for Busy People” series. He is the founder of the eagle singles blog at, a new prayer community site with prayers for Christian singles. You can download the complete “9 Mistakes Report” by visiting

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21 Comments on "The 9 Mistakes That (Almost) All Christian Singles Make – And What to Do About It"

  1. Thank you for sharing..God bless.

  2. I have been up the last few weeks just crying not knowing what to do or how to feel. I feel so lost & alone. I need your prayers. My fiance of 8 months (we have 5 kids between us) let me without saying a word. I came home & all his clothes & belongings were gone. We live in Texas & he is now in Florida. Up unto this point there was no warning signs. We were so happy. He would get up every day, make coffee and breakfast, we cuddled every night, loved each other so much, spent every moment together. All I ever felt from him was love & he was so sweet to me & the kids. So this is such a shock to me. He says its bc he got a job that pays really well. That he felt like such a failure, like a nobody at home bc he couldn’t support his family or find a good job. But to just up and leave? My kids & I are completely devastated and in shock. This man is my baby, my life. The love I thought we had for each other was so strong. I just don’t understand. Please pray for him, that he will have a change of heart, something in him that changes. Please pray for me and my children that we will have peace, understanding, something. I am so scared & so hurt. Why would someone do this to his family. I want to add that he was in Iraq for years…he has PTSD & still has flashbacks & gets emotional thinking about all of it. Please pray for all of us, Please…I need to know if he was just a player & user all this time or if there is something wrong with him. I need to know rather to move on or try to get our family back together. I need closure…I need my prayers answered. I am so confused & hurting

  3. Codie, Praise the Lord! in every situation, praise the Lord!. This is the will of God for you. You do not need anyone to tell you that he is a player and a user. He has demonstrated both by bolting away. Do not confuse making love with true love. Read 1Corinthians 13 to understand true love.You lived together for 8months without marriage. That is a relationship without commitment. Perhaps he bolted from someone to join himself to you, just making love at will! You have to break away from the past to move on in life. Yield your life totally to God through faith in Jesus Christ and follow His principles. BE BORN AGAIN. Please join yourself to the living God who can straighten out your life for you. Remember that you have five children to raise. Be bold and be strong. Look for a Bible believing church and be attending. The word of God will heal you more than anything. I pray that God will help you, in Jesus name. Glory to God. Jesus is Lord!

  4. Thank you Margaret for your response…I really appreciate it

  5. Thanks for sharing this; it is valuable information!

  6. Hi there

    How do i join or get coaching for singles.


  7. I am Joining the chain and believing with all the ladies above….I am getting desparate and need all the Godly support from everyone….

  8. Thank God for this prayer points

  9. olakunle timothy | July 29, 2013 at 3:30 pm | Reply

    pls help me in prayer. am a single christian brother, actually am praying for my spouse but now am realy confuse because i don’t want to marry a wrong person and now i don’t know where to start from. please i will be happy to hear from you sir. and also i will like to join your site so that i can be getting a daily advice and prayer point from you but i don’t know how to do it. thank you GOD bless you. from bro. TIMOTHY

  10. dating christian singles in australia | August 13, 2013 at 8:56 am | Reply

    Ahaa, its good discussion regarding this post at this place at this weblog,
    I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting…

  11. am trusting God for a Godly husband pray for me

  12. My firstime on your side,bt i love it

  13. I am a bit baffled. I hvae fallen in love with a person who I detested for over 5 years. in 2012 during a prayer conference I had a vision and actually walked up to him and asked him when will he make me his wife. From there things started making it’s ways. There are times he will totally ignore me or even ask me to back off his life. We have never had any sexual relationship- he respects my decision to abstinence until we are ready. My problem is he will be very nice to me, We text a lot as we live in 2 different countries. whenever I go back home (2 times per year – 1wk or 2 months) he is so different. Will do everything I ask except take me out in public. we will be at church service together but that’s about it in public. he said is to protect our relationship from the population( he is a well known public personnality). He says everyday how much he loves me, miss me, can’ t do without me BUT i am always the one to start a conversation. I am trusting the Lord to guide me in prayer to show me if this guy is the one mean to be my godly spouse. Sometimes he says he prefer we be best of friends and other days he wants to marry me. I am confused. i am also asking that prays be said on our behalf.

  14. I have been praying for so long for a relationship that I had been in over the years for God to release me because I knew without a doubt that this wasn’t’ the man or marriage that God had in mind for me.
    I saw satan’s strong hold at every level of this relationship. Despite my prayers and attempts to be set free from this man, I was held in captivity and desperate to be set free. Until I started praying these prayers, the attacks started intensifying and his family member started speaking up of him. At that moment, I knew God had answered my prayer. Satans grip had loosened. It is true that the truth had set me free. I felt joy and finally after so long at peace. Thank you for teaching me how to pray! I have been set free and all the glory to God! I will take these prayer points on board to continue to engage in spiritual warfare. It has been a miracle break through…I will never be the same.

  15. Psychic Medium | October 27, 2013 at 8:03 am | Reply

    Good lord – is this article rubbish. Can’t believe someone could be such a low intellect lemming.

  16. Angella praise God yo story is exactly my own..i too am breaking free ..this man had a demon of lust & am praying to be set free from him coz he keeps looking for me yet he s not willing to make me his wife for over five years we ve been together …please pray for me too

  17. Hello…

    Though I don’t agree with most of what was written here because it’s making it look like the person is doing something wrong and hence God is withholding the blessing of marriage… which is not right. God’s blessings rain on everyone… MANY men and women who break every single ‘rule’ in the Bible and hurt other people get happily married.

    You mention all the ‘mistakes’ people make but not exactly explaining how to fix them. What’s an unbroken curse? Who fixes that? How do you know you’re cursed, shouldn’t God protect you from this? My family, all the oldest daughters in the family are not married, even though we’re ‘technically’ good people. Explain that to me? Did we do something wrong for this?

  18. Lord isaiah 60;1-22 lord please bless me with permenant job this month,in Jesus name i prayer

  19. Please help me pray for a good partner. I am a mother of two children, whose fathers passed away. I believe strongly that I have inherited many curses from my family. I need prayer breaking them. From non marriage, dying partners, spiritual lover, abusive partner etc. I will not lie, I have often seeked help from spritual meduims. I also need help purifyng my soul and path.

    I am soon turning 35 and feel that time is against me.

    Thank you.

  20. I am a male of 37 years old.I met a lady who is 41 years old.My family is not comfortable with her age but I find peace and happiness with her.I need a guide on how to prayerfully tackle this issue for us to get married.
    We love each other but I cannot marry her without my family’s approval. I need real prayer points to scale through this hurdle.

  21. Av read the comments and a been blessed

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