On Facebook today under the powerful 11,000+ Forum of Thy Precious Jewels on Facebook, we came across this debate of how to handle genotype and medical verdict of AS or SS which produces offsprings of sicklers among couples with this genotype. below are the comment, frank, inflamed and informed by brethren.
The Challenge: “I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 3years. As we have decided to marry in December this year, we approached the church authority and they have requested that we have Genotype test. The blood test says both of us are AS genotypes which means that we have 1 in 4 chances of producing sickle cell anemia child every time we have a baby… Has anyone had this experience before? Please help.”
“Does the will of God in marriage akin to genotype confirmation? How can God say that we can marry each other if we have such a great risk. The pastor has said that they will not join us together because of this. Is this right?”
“Do we test God by ignoring the medical knowledge that He has given to us human beings. Jewels, please tell us what you think.” … 7 hours ago near London, United Kingdom
- Morayo Hamilton: I personally will say no to the marriage. Why? I have seen sickle cell children suffer so badly. But at the same time, I have seen such people get married and have no sickle cell anemia kids.But I personally see it as “tempting God”. let’s apply our faith unto something else instead of unto believing for no sickle cell kids. Maybe it is God nudging them by making the church ask that the test be done.
- Ogochukwu Mbachi: The blessings of God maketh rich & added no sorrow. Also all good things come from God. Pls my sis, be wise abt this . Sickle cell anemia is a grave prob,if u hav a child wt it then u’l know really how in love you are. God provided the knowledge for a reason. I pray dt u really on Him at dis time & ur emotions don’t cloud ur judgement.
- Aderonke Adekoya: Aww.. My heart goes out to you, may God give you direction and wisdom. Proverbs 3 verse 5 says trust in the Lord with all your heart.. I happen to be a sickler and i know what those with sickle cell anemia children go through. It isn’t easy living a life of pain and peer rejection, i wouldn’t want any child to go through half of what i went through. Please pray about your decision, do not blame the church authorities for their decision, the Lord knows best. Genotype test should be considered first in any relationship, the only i can do as a friend is to lift you up in prayer. May the Lord show you the right way. Stay blessed.
- Debbie Akinfe: I think we have dealt with the exact issue before and I believe our conclusion was that for the sake of the unborn children it is better to say your good byes or agree to seek professional views on the issue.
- Morayo Hamilton: But people, if they agree on adopting instead of having their own biological kids, why not?
- Omobola Thypreciousjewels: Debbie, we are raising this again for the purpose of the over 6,000 Jewels who ave joined us since we last discussed it…….they also deserve to know…and I believe that they will learn a thing or two from this discussion….so feel free to share..
- Olori Odewole: 4 me its a NO! Pls we don’t av 2 make such mistakes, av seen families wit sickle cell that they even prefer being dead than living with it. Lets thank God 4 d wisdom of d genotype test. U Might be lucky-fine, but d chances are very slim,when faced wit sickle cell, d sickness alone is capable of takin away d joy and love in marriages, I know of a family that had 4 kids and 3 of dem had sickle cell-which they could av avoided but claiming they luv each other, d man had to go and marry another wife(AA) when 2 of d kids died. Pls lets avoid bringin sickle cells into d world, we won’t b happy seeing our kids suffer all bcos of d mistakes we could av avoided!
- Ibidun Bolanle: Dis shld be d first step 2 be taken in any serious relationship, check ur genotype! Why bring a child in2 d world 2 suffer wen it can be avoided? Pls pray & ask God 4 grace 4 another relationship, it cld be painful though but I think it will be a wise decision. Vng sickler kids is not a gud xperince, u ll carry d guilt 4 d rest of ur life since u r not ignorant about it. God will see u thru, it is well.
- Bisoye Banwo I understand where u’re comin 4rm but i pray God gives u wisdom, tot 2 share dis, i jst lost a 30 yrs old cousin of mine due to sickle cell… she’s d lastborn nd not married, hr dad is late nd her mum did evrytin she could to make sur she livs as a healthy child, to cut d long story short she received her healing after almost 28yrs of nursing dis sickness, but few months back she died from having d attack. Dupe Turner-Shaw may ur soul rest in perfect peace. love always
- Bisoye Banwo If anyone lacks wisdom let him/her ask, if ur spiritual father is advising u not to get married,pls luk n2 d mattr seriously i pray God opens the eyes of ur understanding to see n know wat exactly He’s telling u.
- Morayo Hamilton You can go ahead and get married provided you both decide on adoption. That way you can still have kids and be together. Otherwise, God’ll help each of you find another partner.
- Funke Adekanye I only wish people will take this issue more seriously and let it be one of the deciding factors in entering a relationship and NOT wait until marriage comes up.
- Shayus Alove This is a very tricky issue – and my response will not be a popular one. If you are indeed a child of God, filled with the holy spirit, God your father talks to you. I want you to go back to this God and HEAR from HIM on this matter. What is God telling you to do? Everyone around you will advise you based on their understanding and the fact that they love you, but the most important thing is what GOD wants you to do!! It is another thing to be sure that what you heard is from God though especially at this time! The Lord will direct you even in this one! Amen! Only the WILL of GOD should be important to you..know for sure what God is saying to you now!
- Omobola Thypreciousjewels Any woman who has witnessed the pain and the sorrow that a mother goes through when they lose a child, will never ever advise their family members to go through it. When we are in love, we just dont think clearly, not only that…….a lot of us hide under the pretense of I HAVE FAITH…..are you sure? Are you sure that you have that word from God to go and do it. If God brought you to something, He will bring you through it. He does not give people children for the purpose of killing the children. his blessings, which include or children, make good and add no sorrow……so what are we saying here……as Funke Adekanye stated….before your head takes over…what is your spirit man saying? Let me ask further, at what point should a Jewel be raising the issue of this genotype with a potential suitor?
- Shayus Alove You see the beauty of doing God’s will in any situation is the confidence and knowing that you have that God indeed is with you. Wherever he sends you, HE will be there with you. If you however decide to act based on what people are saying and not what GOD is saying, when the going gets tough, how would you survive? Because either you marry someone with AS genotype or not, life will happen!
- Aderonke Adekoya I agree with Shayus Alove, go back to God. Seek His face and pray for God’s will. If it is God’s will, you can get married and you wont even have a sickler for a child. Let Jehovah Shammah direct you.
- Morayo Hamilton at what point should a Jewel be raising the issue of this genotype with a potential suitor? – When the suitor has made marriage intentions known. Also when you see yourself getting close with a very high probability of teh relationship ending in marriage.
- Shayus Alove We need to be very careful in the way we are advising people – what therefore happens to grown men and women who are SS and your friend, family member says that is the person they want to marry? Will you say NO? Meaning that we are condemning every one with SS to a marriage-less life – My submission is, let every one do according to God’s instruction to them. We need to focus on teaching everyone how to hear from God…we must all be hearing from God clearly and do ONLY that which the Lord has instructed us to do! If you are IN God’s will for your life, HE will give you the grace, provision and all you need to fulfill His will in your life!
- Morayo Hamilton Shayus Alove – We can only advise, not enforce that the advise is adhered to. An SS person can conveniently get married to an AA genotype person.
- Olawuyi Florence Ugochi Every AS/AS union has a 1 in 4 chance of having an SS child. Guess what? This doesn’t translate to 1 out of 4 kids bearing the SS genotype. No one can tell how the permutations will work in any index case. And then if an SS marries an AS, the chances of having a child who has the SS genotype is a whooping 50%. On the flip-side if an SS marries an AA the chances of having an SS child is……….. 0%.
- Shayus Alove I agree Morayo Hamilton – an SS person can marry an AA person, but won’t friends and family members of the AA person bring up this same issue? What if he/she dies after marriage?, Will the marriage survive the pain, agony etc that comes with the crisis? This brings me back to my earlier submission – what is God telling you? What says that you can not defy medicine? Who says that your case, story can not be different? Who says that the Lord can not change each sickle cell in that body? Who says??? Please, my people…take your health seriously – there is no disease, again NO disease that our bodies can not heal, as long as we give our bodies the right foods! It has also been proven that no disease can survive in an Alkaline environment, are we eating/drinking/consuming foods that make our bodies more alkaline or acidic? There is also increasing evidence that taking antioxidants daily make your body more alkaline. My people, get more interested in your health…read widely..It is well o!!!
- Demmy More I have seen a couple, both AS, who married and gave birth to children that wasn’t SS and i have seen a couple who were ruined financially because they had an SS child. the 1st couple i mentioned HEARD God so they were too sure. Please if u say u have faith be sure u have the faith for a miracle. Let God guide u.
- Olubunmi Ibrahim Our God is d God who does d impossible. They can ask God to change their genotype before d wedding if it is God will. That is beta than endangering a child. I av a friend who God changed her genotype from SS to AA.
- Omobola Thypreciousjewels Olubunmi Ibrahim , well said sis……..you know there are levels of faith and God will meet you exactly where you are!
- Christiana Tobbie God should help us on issues like dis,my own advise is dat we should nt risk d life of an unborn child cos of our selfishness or d love we av 4 our spouse,d pastor dat said dey should nt go ahead wit d marriage doesn’t say or mean he doesn’t hear or pray 2 God, sickle cell children would waste ur money,time,concentration,trust,faith e.t.c So y do u want 2 go ahead wit sumtin dat would bring waste 2 ur life… Obedience is beta dan sacrifice.
- Kemi Marg There is no point taking a deadly risk! While u can start another relationship with faith. It is better late than nursing a sickle cell child that will never give u rest.
- Olubunmi Onwunghai my sis.pls don’t try doing otherwise because both of you will hate each other when the problems start.
- Ayotunde Elegbeleye Every time this topic is raised, I always wonder and at the risk of being the dissenter, I’ll still ask my favourite question, “Where exactly is the place of the will of God (genuine will ni ooo) in making marital decisions when it seems as if the fundamental issue to be first considered and taken care of is the genotype issue?” Should it then mean that before we even consult God, we should first consult the labs? My wonder majorly is that when it comes to other health issues, we can advice people to ‘faith it’ but when it comes to the genotype issue, we are so quick to remove faith from the equation. The first reaction will be, ‘break the relationship’, not even ‘are you sure of what God is telling you’? That is the time we remember that people hide under feelings and emotions to claim God’s will but on other issues, we don’t critically ask whether it’s God’s will as long as they say it is. The other day, a jewel said something about ‘madness’ (which I’d rather tag psychotic disorder) running in her fiance’s family and I was encouraged at how much of faith comments we had – BTW, can I say that psychotic disorders have a VERY STRONG genetic/familial undertone and children inherit it from their parents or parents’ lineage, in fact, such children are at higher risks than others. I am sure if issues of HIV, diabetes, cancer, asthma, and other deadly, even terminal diseases, which also have high potentials of being inherited are mentioned with respect to the choices of marriage partners, there will be more of ‘have faith in God’ talk (and other rationalizations) than what we have with genotype issues – and there lies my wonder. While I DO NOT agree to two people BLINDLY or FOOLISHLY having themselves joined together in marriage in the face of the magnitude of medical information and exposure that we have, I wonder why we treat this issue as if it is the deadliest catastrophe that can happen and as such do not even give room for a measure of faith or God in the matter. Like I said, I am just wondering ni oooo and I strongly believe that, “Wisdom (let’s not also forget that God is our wisdom) is profitable to direct.” Shalom!
- Tina Pius Abazie Please be really sure you have the kind of faith required to face having an ss genotype child…my dear i tell u when the problems of an ss comes along you even forget God exists….God forbid though…You need God’s guidance now more than ever…
- Olufunbi Olaogun Medically and logically AS couples are strongly discouraged from getting married. This is because of the issues surrounding having SS children.When crisis arises it can be very difficult for all involved.But when it comes to christian couples, an addition question can be asked not that they should step out in faith but what has God said or His will for their relationship. I have heard of a couple who went ahead because they believed it is what God wanted for them and they didn’t have any SS child. My advice is this Medically speaking I will not encourage them too but if they are undoubtably sure that God wants the two of them together then they can go ahead. WHEN STEPPING OUT IN FAITH IN SOME SITUATION WE HAVE TO BE SURE GOD HAS CALLED US TO and this is one of such.
- Omobola Thypreciousjewels Olufunbi Olaogun , God has ‘CATCHED’ you, so you are a doctor……..okay now…..more work coming your way.
- Shayus Alove Yes o Omobola Thypreciousjewels – I know Olufunbi Olaogun very well – childhood friend – Yes she is a doctor!!!!
- Omobola Thypreciousjewels hahaha…God is showing me their faces one by one>>>>>>>.lol